BROMANCE WITH OSCAR
By moscow_watcher
Rating: R
Word Count 650
Prompt 161 "The Wild Bunch" (1969), "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" (1969)
Characters: Drusilla, the brothers Gorch
A/N: During Bad Eggs. Drusilla and the brothers Gorch talk movies, "Oscars", and cowboys in space.


"I tell ya, this year the 'Oscar' goes to 'Titanic'! The movie is obscenely profitable."

"Nah. Academy doesn't like 'em profitable. They like 'em arty-farty."

"They like their heroes dead. They're vampires of their own. For them 'Titanic' is a true feast. A lot of folks snuffed. Do you agree with me, honey?"

Drusilla smiled lazily. These roughneck cowboys - brothers Gorch - they were so stupid. Ignorant braggarts trying to impress her with their talk about movies.

She'd never normally go to Willie's or start talking with these hicks - but a girl must have fun, after all. Daddy was obsessing about that naughty Slayer - he couldn't stop talking about her upcoming grizly death. Poor Spike was still unconscious, covered with the Slayer like with mud. Filthy slayer spirit was floating all around them - Spike, Daddy - all over the Factory. The atmosphere there was so nasty that Drusilla had to go out for a while.

..."'Titanic' was such a waste," Lyle Gorch grumbled. "So many deliciously tasty people sent to feed fish. They can't give an "Oscar" to that crap. You know I'm right."

Drusilla sighed and shook her head. "The sunk ship will bring a devil's dozen of golden toys for the king of the world..."

"What are you talking about?" Lyle stared at her, stupefied. "Golden toys... you mean that piece of crap will get thirteen 'Oscars'? You've gotta be kidding me. How the hell could you know?"

Drusilla giggled. "The pixies in my head sang to me."

"It's not fair," Tector Gorch huffed. "We killed more people in our movie. We killed piles of 'em - and they didn't give us a single 'Oscar'! They only nominated us for the best script. The script! It was the biggest insult in my unlife."

Drusilla frowned and shook her finger. "I don't understand you. Naughty boy. Nobody can speak in riddles here. Nobody but me."

"What? You don't know about our movie? The picture about our great train robbery?"

Tector Gorch smiled nostalgically. "You Europeans, don't know a fig about the Wild West. I tell you sweetie, those were the days."

"They don't do pictures like that anymore," Lyle said. "Do you go to the pictures, miss? I don't either. They don't make movies about cowboys nowadays. They make movies about pimply teenagers and stupid superheroes. Or outer space. Can you imagine cowboys in outer space?"

Drusilla giggled again. "I don't care, I'm still free, you can't take the sky from me," she sang.

Brothers exchanged glances and filled Drusilla's glass with more wine.

"I know why they didn't give us their goddamn 'Oscar'", Tector Gorch said gloomily. "Because we're not faggots. That year, when we were in competition, they gave the best script 'Oscar' to 'Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid', and every gunman in the Wild West knew these guys were... you know... doing it."

Lyle snorted. "Nah, it was just nasty gossip. They were normal dudes. They banged their schoolteacher girlfriend concurrently and by turns..."

"Have you seen the damn movie? They look like they're totally doing it behind her back. Not that I care." Tector spit contemptuously. "And - they got their goddamned 'Oscar'!"

"Still bitter, Tector? Relax, brother." Lyle smirked. "Would you - y'know, do it - to get an 'Oscar'?"

"Me banging Butch? Are you kidding?" Tector smashed his fist against the table. "Butch Cassidy was a filthy liar and cheater! And - and he dressed like a sissy! And he was a coward who ran away to Bolivia at the very first sign of danger..."

Lyle chuckled. "Forget Butch Cassidy. Would you sleep with me to get an 'Oscar'?"

"What?" Tector sputtered. "We're brothers!"

"Oh, shit. I'd forgotten."

Drusilla clapped her hands in delight. It was her funniest night since Daddy's return.

"Pity those who live and die in the wrong times," she declared. "Because ten years from now, Wincest rules the interwebs."

"Huh?"